Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Abstain!

It looks as if the daughter of your former candidate for vice presidentress has found herself in quite a fix. She has been going from tele-vision program to tele-vision program with her child on her lap promoting abstinence, assuring that it is a dandy way to prevent pregnancy. Why, that is like someone who had a piano fall on them travel around under-neath said piano declaring gravity is a hoax!

[A vice presidential candidate would never be allowed to even have a daughter in my day, it was a sign of weak seed]

She and her huntress mother cite religion. Poppycock! I come from a time when men thought the devil be responsible for sunsets, but if his mistress' belly swelled you’d better believe he sent her on the next oceanliner to Europe for an abortion.

[Ah, Paris, capital of romance. Not to mention the quietest abortions this side of Alsace-Lorraine!]

Look at the picture of me on the left of your screen. I looked like that in my twenties and spent all my time designing bridges, yet I still couldn’t stay abstinent.

[If the one with the bird cage telegrams asking for me, I'm not here]

Of course you can follow the scripture and guide of the bible, but the last time I checked that’s the same book with a character who’s 969-years-old.

[Fuck Yeah!]

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